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Friday, April 1, 2011

The worst part about closing up the store

The worst part about closing the store at night isn't the fact that you are working your whole afternoon/night away, even though that is an obvious downside. The worst part is when you finally go home. It sounds dumb, but think about this: You work all day, you're absolutely exhausted, your body is telling you that it is time for sleep when you are punching out. This all goes right out the window as soon as you get into your vehicle to head out. Now you have a burst of energy from being out. Or at least I do. Anyway, more often than not this After Work Energy Burst is totally wasted on me because it is too late to do anything and all I want to do is sleep. So now instead of getting a good night's sleep for class in the morning, I'm up all night refreshing Facebook waiting for someone to be online. Long story short: I've had more tired mornings caused by A.W.E.B. than anything else, because normally I can go to bed when my body says it is time. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has felt like this before, but if I am then maybe I have a few more problems than I had initially thought.
Thanks for reading and don't forget to follow me @ E W Warrens!!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Job Market on the Rise for Software Engineers

I figure I could use this blog for a little more than just stories and tips on how to avoid working and mention some job-related news. According to, online job advertisements for software engineer positions has increased by 12% in the last month compared to this time last year. There are about 850,000 software engineers in the US, which seems pretty high if you ask me, since I don't know any. But things are looking up for those engineers without a job because there are now about 56,000 open positions out there, which means you only have to beat out 14 other people in your profession instead of 17 for every individual job posting. This news is especially good for all of you engineers in California and Washington as their numbers have had the biggest increase. Any news like this is good news in an economy like the one now. My hope is one of you reading this right now are an out of work software engineer that is going to profit from this. If you would like to read the full story visit the San Francisco Chronicle.
Also, if you have Twitter feel free to follow me @ E W Warrens

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

7 Tips to avoid looking lazy.

1. Talk on the walkie- a lot.
    This makes it sound like you are doing something, even if you are just asking where your buddy is.

2. Make a bee-line to wherever you are going.
    Whether you are heading to the bathroom, breakroom, or broom closet, always make it look like you are heading somewhere important. People (coworkers, managers, etc.) won't generally stop you if you appear to be in a hurry.

3. Volunteer for a task that is very tedious.
    Contrary to the last two, this one requires real work (Doh!). Say there is a job you know will take a full hour, but it is something very easy like counting a product or printing signs. Always volunteer for these because it will score you points with your boss while keeping you from the real work that your coworkers will be handling.

4. Smile!
    This isn't a real secret, but if you look like you are enjoying yourself then you will appear more productive. This is especially important when you will be encountering many people. Your boss will like to see you are putting out those good vibes even if you secretly aren't.

5. Whistle.
    This is optional, but I think it is a good one. It also goes along the line with smiling. If you are whistling or humming a tune while making your rounds or doing your work, it will create an image that you are very upbeat and engaged in your task.

6. Distance yourself from the obviously lazy.
    Everyone at your job will have extra "gears" they could be using, but a few make it overly obvious that they don't intend to use them. By keeping yourself away from them it can create the comparison between you two. If you are even slightly better than them it will show and you shall be rewarded.

7. Keep a pen in your ear.
    This one is my favorite. I keep a pen in my ear and a list in my pocket. It doesn't matter what is on the list or if you even keep track of it, but when people see you writing things down or crossing things off you will look really productive.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dreaming....About Work.

So I'm dreaming that I'm at work and a buddy and I go outside. It is a busy day, the parking lot is full. And now, for whatever reason, we pull out a couple of .22 caliber rifles and start shooting at cars. I guess this seemed like a good idea at the time, just vandalizing vehicles, but eventually the people walking by got a little nervous about the whole situation so we left. I ended up going back to my hometown and got even another job. Well the rest of the dream consisted of me running around being nervous that the cops were going to arrest me until I woke up and breathed a sigh of relief. I don't really like when the dream feels that real. I like it less when it feels like I'm going to be arrested.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


If there's one thing I hate, it is managers who feel that they need to be condescending towards employees for one reason or another. I'm not talking about the person who runs the business or the owner or something like that. I'm talking about the shift manager who has been at the same place for 7 years. It literally takes one month to learn how to do a job like that, so you can take your attitude and shove it down your throat. Part of me wants to let them live their dream and feel great about working a job that is supposed to be short term while the other part of me wants to get my degree and come back and show them how worthless what they are doing is.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Working Man

So working at a minimum-wage retail store job probably isn't supposed to be the most exciting thing a guy can do, but I find that the worst part isn't the job itself. The worst part is the people who have been at the same job in the same position for somewhere around five or so years who feel that they are some kind of boss and feel the need to talk down to the people who have only been around for a few months. If you are so upset that people who have only worked there for 5 months can do the same job as you then move on with your life and do something real. There is no glory in working for a retail chain and getting a 10 cent raise every year and never applying for at least a managerial position.
tl;dr: Working retail forces you to work with dipshits.